( continued from part 1 )


In order to carry this discussion further, I do need to define one more thing. The concept of an “entity”. Rhinos and Watermelons are not entities, they’ve been defined above, and don’t believe they require further detail. An “entity”, however, is, loosely, either the target or the source of a Rhino or Watermelon. This is nearly always a person. In the context of self, you are always an entity. Any person you come into contact potentially becomes a source for the generation of Rhinos or Watermelons. This is an important distinction to make in order to proceed on to the next topic…


Inevitably, the people around us challenge us. Whether physically or emotionally, they are “entities” that generate more Rhinos and Watermelons for us to avoid or embrace. How we choose to interact with them (or not) determines the frequency and strength with which those events cross our paths.

Clearly, someone who becomes a life partner or very close friend will be constantly throwing up new events for us to deal with. Earlier, I mentioned the concept of the “window into the soul”. I think this analogy is particularly poignant in this paradigm as well. Consider that your “window” is the method by which you allow others to view the collection of your life experiences. This will include all of your personal Rhinos and Watermelons, filtered by how cloudy or clear you decide to make this window.

Most people have a few traits or elements of themselves that they consider definitive that are on display through this window for all the world to see, all the time. Its what gives us our “first impressions” of a person. And only after prolonged exposure to someone, and gaining a sense of trust for them, do we let back some of those filters and expose them to more of ourselves, more of those past events that define us and shape our psyche. And furthermore, how we’ve dealt with those events. Did we manage to turn all our Rhinos into Watermelons or not? Giving someone access to those deepest recesses is at the core of establishing successful and meaningful long term relationships.

In theory, in order to truly accept someone’s presence by your side, that window should be as clear as possible. Keeping things hidden or clouded by filter invariably only leads to misunderstanding and possibly hurt feelings later on.

This is not to say that clearing up the window is any kind of guarantee of future success. We get new events throw at us, collectively, all the time that we have to deal with, both as individuals and as a couple. However, if you know how the person has dealt with things in the past, that lends at least *some* insight as to how they might deal with things in the future. If, in your judgement, their method for dealing with things meshes well with your own, events that you face together have a higher chance of reaching a solution that is mutually agreeable, instead of pushing you down different paths.

Why Rhinos and Watermelons?

A fair question. Why indeed. I could try and fabricate some story about how these symbols are meaningful in my conscious mind and appropriate for their purposes in this exercise, but that wouldn’t be truthful. The reality is I woke up in the middle of the night having dreamed all of this, and those were the symbols my subconscious mind chose. Instead of trying to come up with something more important, I will simply trust that there were good reasons for the choices, and leave it at that.

Sometimes, you just have to run with it.